Scream 4...0
by kaytee83
Summary: 40 years on from the first attempt to kill Ms. Prescott, she is still plagued by people desparate to hang her hide. It's actually quite regular, there has been attempted murder on her once a year for a looong time. People are starting to forget why.
1. In A Box???

SCREAM 4...0.  
  
SCENE: EXT. A CARDBOARD BOX - NIGHT. RAIN PELTS THE BOX, AND WE SEE THAT THE TAPE BINDING IT IS WEARING THIN. SLOW DELIBERATE FOOTSTEPS ARE HEARD APPROACHING, THEN A GLOVED HAND SLOWLY REACHES OUT TO THE BOX AND JERKS IT OPEN. SIDNEY PRESCOTT JUMPS UP IN THE BOX, POINTING A GUN AT THE INTRUDER.  
  
SIDNEY: Freeze, mother fucker!  
DEWEY: Woah! Sidney! It's me, calm down! Don't shoot!  
SIDNEY: Dewey?  
DEWEY: Yeah, shhh. It's okay. I just...  
  
PAUSE.  
  
SIDNEY: You just...?  
DEWEY: Um, well... we were wondering where you were hiding out nowadays, and it has to be said... (disbelieving, offensive) a box!?!   
SIDNEY: (weakly) You can't kill what doesn't have an address.  
DEWEY: But-  
SIDNEY: Shut up, Dewey. Why'd you come see me anyways? Has there been another murder? Lemme at 'em!  
  
TRIES TO SCRAMBLE OUT OF THE BOX BUT DEWEY HOLDS HER BACK.  
  
DEWEY: I see you've hardened to your way of life.  
SIDNEY: Well, I mean, after about 100 different people trying to kill me over the years, you kinda get used to it. What's it been, 40 years since the first time in...  
DEWEY: Woodsboro.  
SIDNEY: Oh yeah that's it.  
DEWEY: And we've still managed to keep our youthful looks!  
  
BOTH PAUSE AND REFLECT.   
  
SIDNEY: Oh, darn it, where are my manners! Come in, Dewey!  
  
DEWEY STARES AT THE BOX.  
  
DEWEY: Uh... maybe later... I got a date with Gale.  
SIDNEY: What, you divorced again?  
DEWEY: Yeah, but tonight is the 37th anniversary of when our first ever wedding. Romantic, huh?  
SIDNEY: Uh... yeah. Well, I gotta go pop my corn, I'm gonna watch a movie tonight.   
DEWEY: Oh yeah? What?  
SIDNEY: Some dumb comedy, Three To Tango or something.  
DEWEY: That sucks man! Matthew Perry is... Matthew Perry and with some weird girl stuck in the middle of him and this other guy.  
SIDNEY: Well, maybe I'll watch Stab 28, I heard that one's got Shannen Doherty as the killer.  
DEWEY: Well, I mean, which real killer was she playing?  
SIDNEY: Oh... um... it was... hmm, who tried to kill me the 28th time? Um...? Oh! It was, um, what's she called, um, my great, great, grandmother. Yeah.  
DEWEY: Oh yeah! She put up quite a fight!   
SIDNEY: Yeah, so I'm watching that one.  
DEWEY: Cool. Well, gotta go. Later, Sid.  
SIDNEY: Bye.  
  
HE LEAVES. SIDNEY LOOKS AROUND QUICKLY, THE RAIN HAS SOAKED HER. SHE DISAPPEARS INTO THE BOX. SUDDNELY THE SOUND OF A KNIFE BEING DRAWM IN HEARD AND GHOSTFACE RUNS PAST THE BOX. SIDNEY POPS OUT WITH THE GUN.  
  
SIDNEY: Freeze, mother fucker!  
  
SHE LOOKS AROUND. THERE IS NO ONE THERE. 


	2. It Begins... For The Fortieth Time... No...

SCENE TWO: IT BEGINS... FOR THE FORTIETH TIME. NOTHING NEW THEN.  
  
  
INT. A VIDEO STORE. SIDNEY IS BROWSING THE PORN SECTION. HER FRIEND, PRUE COMES UP TO HER.  
  
PRUE: Hey Sid. Still not got a boyfriend yet?  
SIDNEY: It strikes me as pretty weird that my best friend would come and ask me that. It's so harsh!  
PRUE: Hey! I did not write this freakin movie! Do NOT get on the wrong side of me, Campbell!  
NEVE: I'm sorry, Shannen, I didn't mean it.  
SHANNEN: Don't come out of character, you idiot!  
NEVE: Well you just did!  
SHANNEN: Shoot.  
  
SHANNEN GATHERS HERSELF TOGETHER, TAKES A BREATH AND:  
  
PRUE: So. The porn section again, huh?  
SIDNEY: I know, Prue, it's just... dammit, since all this... started...  
  
SHE GETS TEARS IN HER EYES, AND SPEAKS IN SLOW SHUDDERING BREATHS.  
  
SIDNEY: It's like, everyone's scared to go out with me now. And those who do-  
PRUE: Try to kill you. I know, Sid, it's hard, but you gotta try to let people know you're back on the market.   
SIDNEY: I've been on the market for about seventeen years now Prue. Who's gonna go out with an old piece of crap like me? I'd be as well going back to my box and-  
  
SHE STOPS.  
  
PRUE: Your what? Did you say your box?  
SIDNEY: Uh... no!  
PRUE: Sidney...  
SIDNEY: Okay, Prue, okay! I live... in a box.   
PRUE: (triumphantly) I KNEW it! I mean... oh God Sidney, why didn't you tell me?  
SIDNEY: Why? WHY? Do you know how many of my friends have tried to kill me over the past 40 years? 34. That's right - 34. Don't you think I should be taking every precaution to ensure that doesn't happen again?  
PRUE: But you should have told me. I thought I was your best friend, Sidney. Maybe I was wrong.  
  
SHE STORMS OUT.  
  
SIDNEY: Maybe I was too.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
EXT. VIDEO STORE - STREET. PRUE IS WALKING QUICKLY ALONG THE STREET. SHE PASSES A KISSING COUPLE, THEN A HOMELESS GUY WHO YOU CAN'T SEE BECAUSE HE IS COVERED IN A BLANKET. THE CAMERA LINGERS ON THE HOMELESS GUY AS SHE WALKS PAST. THE BLANKET STARTS TO MOVE, AND AN ARM STICKS OUT, HOLDING A KNIFE. SUDDENLY, THE BLANKET IS THRWON OFF AND GHOSTFACE JUMPS OUT, STARTING TO WALK AFTER PRUE. HE WALKS PAST A NEWSAGENTS AND STOPS TO READ THE NEWPAPER BILLBOARD OUTSIDE. IT READS "PRESCOTT VICTIM LIVING IN BOX". THE CAMERA CLOSES UP ON HIM. HE RUNS ACROSS THE ROAD, AND THRUSTS HIS KNIFE INTO A DISCARDED SHOEBOX. HE LOOKS INSIDE. IT'S EMPTY. THERE'S A NOISE LIKE A CRASH, AND GHOSTFACE LOOKS UP SHARPLY, TO SEE A DRUNKEN GIRL ON THE PHONE.  
  
GIRL: Sid, look, you're like three blocks away. In a video store. Three blocks away and you want me to walk you home?   
  
THERE'S A PAUSE.  
  
GIRL: Okay, keep walking. Right. Now where are you? The grocery store? Sideny? Sid? Hey - you there? Talk to me!  
  
SHE SEES GHOSTFACE.  
  
GIRL: Ha! Look! Sid, uh, you don't wanna come here - some loser asshole's makin' fun of you.  
  
GHOSTFACE PULLS OUT HIS KNIFE, AND ADVANCES.  
  
GIRL: Oh, scary! Please, Mr Ghostface, don't kill me!  
  
GHOSTFACE RAISES HIS LITTLE VOICE BOX THING TO HIS FACE.  
  
GHOSTFACE: If I had eyes, I'd roll 'em.   
  
HE LUNGES TOWARDS THE GIRL AND PLUNGES HIS KNIFE INTO HER.   
  
CUT TO:  
  
STREET. SIDNEY IS STARING AT THE NEWSPAPER STAND WHICH SAYS "PRESCOTT VICTIM LIVING IN BOX".  
  
SIDNEY: How did they know?  
  
A SCREAM IS HEARD. SIDNEY GASPS AND LOOKS UP. SILENCE. SLOWLY, SHE WALKS TOWARDS WHERE THE SOUND CAME FROM.  
  
SIDNEY: Wait a minute, what am I doing? Do I have a death wish or something?  
  
SHE SUDDENLY GETS HIT IN THE FACE WITH A PIECE OF PAPER. PICKING IT UP, SHE SCRUTINISES IT. IT READS "DEATH WISH: SIDNEY PRESCOTT - GRANTED".  
  
SIDNEY: What the-  
  
GHOSTFACE JUMPS ON HER FROM BEHIND AND STABS HER BACK. THE KNIFE BLADE SNAPS.  
  
GHOSTFACE: Huh?  
SIDNEY: God, asshole! I been stabbed with that crappy knife so many times my back has hardened to it. Now it's only top quality knifes that can get through. And you call yourself a killer!  
GHOSTFACE: That can be arranged.  
  
HE PRODUCES ON BIG BREAD KNIFE.  
  
SIDNEY: Wait! That didn't make sense! Is that serrated?  
  
SHE TRIES TO GET AWAY, BUT GHOSTFACE TRIPS HER WITH HIS... CLOAK. HE LEANS OVER HER. SHE KICKS IN HIM THE PART WHERE MEN DISLIKE GETTING HIT. HE DOESN'T FLINCH.  
  
SIDNEY: Um... do you even have anything down there?  
  
HE RAISES THE KNIFE, BUT SHE SCRAMBLES THROUGH HIS LEGS AND RUNS AWAY, PANTING AND CRYING. GHOSTFACE STARTS TO FOLLOW HER, BUT DUCKS DOWN AN ALLEYWAY. 


	3. Another One Bites The Dust. I Wonder Wha...

SCREAM 4...0  
  
SCENE 3: ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST... I WONDER WHAT DUST TASTES LIKE...  
  
INT. PRUE'S HOUSE. PRUE IS MAKING FONDUE (HOW THE HEKK DO YOU SPELL FONDUE? FONDOO? PHONDHU? AH, FORGET IT). SHE IS PLAYING A GROOVY SONG CALLED 'DOES ANYBODY HEAR ME' BY SOME CHEAP HO. THEN THE SONG CHANGES TO A FAR SUPERIOR 'GEL' BY COLLECTIVE SOUL (YOU ARE VERY WELCOME, COLLECTIVE SOUL, FOR I AM ADVERTISING YOUR FABULOUSNESS!)  
  
PRUE: (singing) Colour me any colour!  
  
SHE THROWS A POT OF PAINT ON HERSELF.  
  
PRUE: (singing) Speak to me in tongues and share.  
  
SHE DOES THE NEXT LINE IN TONGUES, BUT SOMEHOW WE STILL UNDERSTAND HER.  
  
PRUE: (singing) Tell me how you love to hate me.   
  
SIDNEY ENTERS AND LOOKS AT HER.  
  
SIDNEY: I hate you Prue!  
PRUE: (singing) Tell me how you love to care.  
  
PRUE STOPS AND WAITS EXPECTANTLY FOR SIDNEY TO REPLY, BUT IS GREETED BY SILENCE.  
  
PRUE: Fine. What do you want?  
SIDNEY: How could you let the fact that I live in a box get out? Now everyone knows!  
PRUE: What are you talking about? I didn't tell anyone!  
  
SHE KICKS HER MOBILE PHONE UNDER THE SOFA.  
  
PRUE: What's with you, anyway?  
  
THERE IS A PAUSE AND THE CAMERA ZOOMS UP ON SIDNEY.  
  
SIDNEY: It's happening again.  
  
BEAT.  
  
PRUE: What is?  
SIDNEY: God damn! I've said that line SO MANY times you'd think that it's obvious what's happening! Gah!  
SHANNEN: Well sorreeee if I stopped going to see the Scream movies since that awful one where it was Sidney's grandmother. It was something about the actress who played her...  
NEVE: Shannen-  
SHANNEN: Neve, shut up, okay!  
NEVE: No, I just realised you fucked up a line.  
SHANNEN: Please - I never fuck up you little whore!  
NEVE: Yes you did! I'm supposed to say 'it's happening again' then YOU say 'when is it not happening' or something like that.  
  
PAUSE.  
  
SHANNEM: Campbell, this never I repeat NEVER happened. I am queen and never make mistakes. I was... uh... testing you.   
NEVE: But-  
SHANNEN: JUST DO THE FUCKING LINE!  
NEVE: Okay! Sheesh... now I know why you got kicked off Charmed and Charmeded.  
SHANNEN: I did not get kicked off Charmeded - I'm still doing that. And I did not get kicked off Charmed! I quit!  
NEVE: Oh, that wasn't something about bitch fights with Alyssa Milano I heard about?  
SHANNEN: No, that was just on the side - and can you blame me? How can anyone like that idiot Milano?  
NEVE: Okay, I'll let that pass. Anyway, Charmed is sooo boring.  
KT(OS): Heehee. I am such a... hypocrite!  
SHANNEN: KT - shut up will ya! I'm fed up of you talking over every episode of Charmeded you're not gonna ruin Scream 40 for me! Nyyahhhh!  
  
SHANNEN JUMPS ON KT AND BEGINS SMASHING HER UP. KT MANAGES TO GET UP AND RUNS OFF INTO THE DISTANCE SCREAMING. HEY - SHANNEN MAY BE SHORT BUT SHE'S FREAKISHLY STRONG AND EVIL-LOOKING! RUN, KT, RUN! SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOOOOOOOOOU (HEEHEE KT'S SO GULLIBLE)  
  
NEVE: Shannen! Get your fat quittin' ass over here! I'll do the line again.  
SIDNEY: It's happening agian.  
PRUE: Sid, I'd be surprised if it wasn't. When is it NOT happening?  
SIDNEY: Hey that's so true!  
PRUE: So, why don't we just go on a rampage and kill everyone you know? That way, you've got a high chance of hitting the killer before they hit you!  
SIDNEY: Good idea! I'll start with you!  
  
SIDNEY STICKS A KNIFE IN PRUE. PRUE DOESN'T FLINCH.  
  
SIDNEY: Um... I just stabbed you.  
PRUE: Oh you did? Yeah - this doesn't count - you stabbed my astral projection.  
SIDNEY: Astral erection?  
PRUE: No, dumbass, projection. God did you not know I'm like this amazing witch and I have telekinesis and I can astral project? I'm far superior to my pansy assed sisters Piper and Phoebe. I hate them.  
SIDNEY: Huh, I didn't even know you had sisters.  
PRUE: I don't.  
  
SIDNEY LOOKS BAFFLED, BUT DECIDES NOT TO FOLLOW UP ON THIS.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
EXT. STREET. GHOSTFACE IS CASUALLY WANDERING ABOUT EATING A DONUT, THEN RANDOMLY STABS SOME GUY.   
  
GHOSTFACE: Dun dun dun. Another one bites the dust!  
  
CUT TO:  
  
INT. PRUE'S HOUSE. THE PHONE RINGS. SIDNEY ANSWERS IT.  
  
SIDNEY: Hello?  
  
PRUE GRABS THE PHONE OFF SIDNEY, BUT DOESN'T PUT IT TO HER EAR YET.  
  
PHONE: (ghostface voice) Hello, Sidneeee.  
PRUE: (to Sid) Sidney! This is my phone, doofus! Why would anyone phone you at my house?  
SIDNEY: Oh yeah!  
  
PRUE PUTS THE PHONE TO HER HEAR.  
  
PRUE: Hello?  
  
SIDNEY GRABS THE PHONE.  
  
SIDNEY: Prue, what if it's... if it's... a telemarketing agent!  
PHONE: Hello Prue... you there?  
PRUE: Damn you're right.  
PHONE: Hello?  
  
PRUE SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN.  
  
PRUE: Phew, that was close! We coulda died!  
SIDNEY: Or worse, been pestered by some sales guy!  
PRUE: Well, I gotta get back to work.   
SIDNEY: You still reading that hella complicated book?  
PRUE: Yeah, but it's so useful when you live in the demon world like I do.  
SIDNEY: Huh?  
PRUE: I mean... oh, just get out!  
SIDNEY: Alright, alright I'm gone!  
  
SIDNEY EXITS HUFFILY. PRUE SETTLES DOWN IN HER CHAIR.  
  
PRUE: Well, this may be the hardest book I've ever read, but may as well get on with it.  
  
SHE PICKS UP A HARRY POTTER BOOK AND BEGINS TO SQUINT AT IT.  
  
CUT TO:   
  
EXT. PRUE'S HOUSE. GHOSTFACE IS OUTSIDE WITH HIS BIG... KNIFE. HE GOES INTO HER HOUSE. WE HEAR A SCREAM, THEN HE EXITS, WIPES THE BLOOD FROM HIS KNIFE AND RUNS AWAY. 


	4. Mmm... Minimum Security and No Protectio...

SCENE 4.  
  
INT. POLICE OFFICE. SIDNEY IS HUDDLED UNDER A MOULDY TOWEL SHIVERING. SHE IS SOAKING WET AND HER LIPS ARE GREEN. GAIL WEATHERS ENTERS.  
  
GAIL: Oh my god Sidney! Are you okay?  
SIDNEY: I guess...  
GAIL: And you're all wet! I didn't realise it was raining outside.  
SIDNEY: (embarrased) It's not... I, uh, fell... into a swimming pool. Prue's, swimming pool.   
GAIL: Isn't Prue's pool BEHIND her house?  
SIDNEY: Yeah.  
  
PAUSE.  
  
GAIL: Okay. And your lips are green because...?  
SIDNEY: I was, uh, eating leaves.  
GAIL: Rrrright.  
  
DEWEY ENTERS.  
  
DEWEY: Sid! Are you okay? I have some awful... terrible... not so bad... um, I have some news. Prue is dead!  
SIDNEY: W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-  
  
GAIL SLAPS SIDNEY.  
  
SIDNEY: What?  
DEWEY: Your best friend Prue. She's dead!  
SIDNEY: I'm sorry... Prue who?  
DEWEY: Screw it if I know her last name!  
GAIL: Prue Halliwell. She's 31, used to live in San Francisco with her two sisters Piper and Phoebe. But she wanted to move here so faked her own death and came. And befriended Sidney, and they've been best friends ever since. She has/had a cat called Kit, which changed from male to female as often as her youngest sister Phoebe's hair changed from brown to blonde.  
  
BOTH STARE AT GAIL.  
  
GAIL: What? I liked the girl, okay?  
DEWEY: Anyway, Sidney, we gotta keep you safe. Now, in order to do so, we'll alert the entire city that "it's happening again" and tell them where you're hiding out so they know where you are and how to contact you.  
GAIL: Good idea.  
SIDNEY: Wait a minute...  
DEWEY: We'll give you minimum security because if the killer tries to attack, he'll be expecting the place to be swarming with police, and if it isn't, it'll throw him off.  
SIDNEY: But-  
DEWEY: And we won't give you any arms to defend yourself with, just in case someone gets hurt.   
SIDNEY: What if-  
GAIL: That's great. Dewey, we gotta go celebrate your brains! Bye Sid!  
  
DEWEY AND GAIL EXIT, LEAVING SIDNEY SITTING ALONE. THE LIGHTS FLASH OUT. PAUSE.  
  
SIDNEY: Uh... hello?  
  
THE PHONE RINGS.  
  
SIDNEY: I really shouldn't answer this, but there's just something about a ringing phone!  
  
SHE PICKS UP.  
  
SIDNEY: Hello?  
VOICE: Hello, Sidneeeee!  
SIDNEY: What? Who is this?  
VOICE: (shouts) The killer you idium! Who do you think?  
SIDNEY: Well I didn't know, did I?   
VOICE: Sure. You're just a sucker for punishment.  
  
GHOSTFACE STEPS OUT OF THE SHADOWS WEARING HIS TRADITIONAL GET-UP.  
  
SIDNEY: Maybe. But at least I amen't as white as Rose McGowan!  
GHOST: Why you little... Never compare me to someone that crap again! Aghhhhhh!  
  
HE RUNS AT HER. SIDNEY SCREAMS AND DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY AS GHOSTFACE CARTWHEELS (LITERALLY) INTO A DESK. SHE LOOKS UP, HER EYES WHITE.   
  
GHOST: Hello, Sidneee!  
SIDNEY: You, you already said that!  
GHOST: I think you're missing the point.  
SIDNEY: Which is...  
  
GHOSTFACE PULLS OUT A KNIFE.  
  
SIDNEY: Oh yeah... I mean, AHHHHHH!!!  
  
RUNS.  
  
GHOST: Don't run! I just wanna carve you up!  
SIDNEY: Aiiii!  
  
GHOSTFACE GIVES CHASE. SIDNEY GETS TO THE DOOR OF THE POLICE STATION AND GRAPPLES WITH OPENING IT.  
  
SIDNEY: It must be locked...  
  
GHOSTFACE COMES UP BEHIND HER.  
  
GHOST: Man! I can't kill you this easily! Try turning the handle.  
  
SIDNEY DOES SO. DOOR OPENS.  
  
SIDNEY: Well whaddya know! It worked!  
  
BOTH EXIT.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT. SIDNEY RUNS ACROSS THE EMPTY ROAD AND JUMPS INTO A BUSH. MOMENTS LATER, GHOSTFACE WALKS UP TO THE BUSHES. LOOKS AROUND. DOES NOT SEE HER TREMBLING BEHIND BUSH. WALKS AWAY. AFTER A FEW SECONDS, SIDNEY TIMIDLY LOOKS OUT FROM THE BUSHES AND SEES THE STREET IS EMPTY. SLOWLY SHE CLAMBERS OUT AND RUNS THE OPPOSITE WAY OF GHOSTFACE.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Not the best of my work, I know. But was pressured into writing this *cough* Coleo and Charmed*1.  
  
Still, will try harder next time!!  
kt 


End file.
